F: Daddee. i can speak hummingbird.
D: oh? 
F: yeah. hmmmmmmmmmm. see? they're birds and they hum. that's why they're called humming birds. and i speak hummingbirds. seeeeeeeeee? --- big ol'smile with lotsa teeth followed. :o) LOL

~~~~
F: I love you mommee
M: awww. i love you too. i'm the luckiest mommee everrrr
F: yeah. i love you as much as i love daddeeee, which is a whole lot. i love daddeeee as much as the whole kabilillion universe. so daddeeee's even luckier. -- :o)

~~~~
F: i'm not happy with you mommee. you annoy me with your rules and you won't let me do anything. why do you make me bored? i can't do anything.
--- wonder how sophisticated this statement would get when she's 14......hmmmmm....
~~~~
Franki called her grandma: hi grandma, how are you? 
G: hi honey. i'm good. what have you been doing today? 
F: i'm in the office working right now, but i also watched the fishies, rode my bike, played with mommee and vincent, oh and the fishies are soooo slimy. and the huming bird is chasing away all other hummingbirds so that he can have the feeder all to himself. he's being naughty. i'm walking now. no wait, i'm kinda walking but talking too...
~~~~
F: OWWWHWHWWOOWWHH
M: what's wrong?
F: i bonked my foot when i tried to close the door
M: you ok?
F: yeah.
M: were you rushing again
F: yeah.
D: maybe you shouldn't do that.
F: I don't want to hear from you right now.
LOL :o) truth hurts even when you're only 5 :o) HAH!

~~~~
F: Mommee. have i been good today?
M: whaddaya think?
F: hmmm...i think i've been super duper good today.
M: oh? how didja come to that assessment?
F: well...maybe i was just good since i did broke 2 rules today.
M: oh? wanna list them?
F exasperated: oh nevermind, ughhhh. you are soooo annoying. :o) LMAO!

Those of you with teens out there...tell me that it doesn't get any worse than this...?????

~~~~
Ok, so i set myself up for this one...but i gotta give her the credit nonetheles...
M: dinner's ready princess
F in a sing song voice: okkkkkkk, i'll be there in a royal minute. i need to finish working on my royal doheekee.

~~~~
F: Daddee's a better boss than you. he's got great ideas. you're a crazy boss. he's a better boss. :o) LMAO.
~~~~
M: HHHHIIIIII!!!! how was your day?
F: great! i had a great time!
M: cool. whacha do?
F: i don't wanna talk about it. tell me what you did today?
M: i don't wanna talk about it. i wanna hear about your day.
F: we did lotsa stuff. ok your turn.
M: i didn't do much. ok your turn.
F: Mommeeeeeeeeeee. you're annoying me.
LMAO :o) we got the dishing it down, but still working on taking it... :o) HAH!!!!

~~~~
F professed that something was boring. so, here comes daddee...
D: you know...boring is an opinion. you might not want to share that with everyone in your class. you can share it with us, but not with your teacher or your classmates.
F looked at him with loving eyes and a gentle smile: you're boring funny daddee.



~~~~
F: school's boring mommee. i don't learn anything new.
M: hmmm...true. maybe not the reading, writing, math, or other blah blah stuff, but i can think of at least one thing.
F: what?
M: following directions. you can definitely learn to follow directions...better.
D: HHHHAAAAHHHH!
F: DDDDaddeee can learn not to laugh when he thinks something mommee says about me is funny.

~~~~
F stepped on a toy: "OWOWOWOWWEEEEEE"
M: you ok?
F: yeeaah waahahayeaha
M: what happened?
F: i stepped on a toy.
Pause...
F doing dave's voice: WOMAN! You need to stop having so much crap.
M LMAO: not a problem. lets bag all your toys and clear them out of the house.
F perky and smiley (light switch): i love you mommeee

~~~~
M read the following word: SOLDER --> "sold-der"
D corrected: "saw-der"
M: shouldn't it be written as sodder or sawder or souder if that's how it's supposed to be pronounced?
D: look woman, i didn't invent the language
F: it's ok mommee. i know only daddee and me know how to read. you're still learning. it's ok. :o) LMAO!!!!

~~~~
So Dave started dozing off on the floor while hanging out with the kids in the game room. F was being her competitive self as she played with V. Suddenly, she stopped playing, got up and went into our room, came out with a blanket and pillow, covered dave with the blanket, and attempted to lift his ginormous head to place the pillow underneath. :o) my heart melted and then i LMAO :o).

F: mommee. we have a kazillion hummingbirds. we need more sugar to make their food like a kabazillion more sugar.
D: a KKKKaBBBBazillion?
F: you're funny daddee. oh look they're pooping.
M thinking while Dave and Franki banter...what are the chances that politicians think the way a 5yo does all the time...hmmmmm....

~~~~
got a hand written note on my desk: "I WENT TO FLORDA FOR VEKASHIN LOVE FRANKI" :o) LOL...i guess even 5yos need one from time to time :o)
~~~~
Right after i picked up the toys in the playroom, went to the kitchen as vince followed me, came back into the playroom to find a tornado had came through.
M growled: FRANCESCA T. ANTHONY. PLEASE COME IN HERE RIGHT NOW!
F in a sing song voice as she casually strolled out of her bedroom: ok mamma. but mamma...i LUUUUVVVUUHHHUUUVVV YOUUUUUUU!
V: uh oh. oh no.
I'm surrounded by comodians!

~~~~
F was all frustrated and grumpy.
M: i understand you're frustrated, and it's not easy being a kid some times...
F interrupted: i don't think it's hard being a kid. i think it's easy. i'm just frustrated because you won't let me do what i want. 
:o) LMAO! simply profound and yet so young!
~~~~
M: what's with these bruises on me...(obviously thinking aloud)
F matter of factly: it's because you're old and you keep denting yourself.
:o) LOL she's obviously ready to go and get her BS :o)

~~~~
Case 1:
D: woman! i thought we agree not to...
F: You're wrong mommee. Daddee's right. you should do what daddee says.
Case 2:
Dave & Franki playing monopoly (by the rules and all) when she landed on his prop.
D: you owe me $60 in rent. cough it up
F COUGHED and money flew over to dave's pile :o) BAHAHAAHAH
PLUS, SHE's kicking his butt, LEGITAMATELY!!!! DOUBLE BAAHAHAHAHAAHAH

~~~~
Scene: Called Dave @ Work, Franki & Vince near by when i called...
K dialed
D: hello
K: it's wiffffe
F: No it's not. it's momeeeeeeeee.

~~~~
@10:08AM (school started @ 805am)
F: my hands are tired mommee
M: huh...wachado?
F: i worked it too much today
M: yah did? when? thought you got to school, got into your costume and got ready to get on stage for the thanksgiving celebration song...when didja worked your hands?
F: i worked and excercise my hands very hard when i fed myself popcorn after the show. it was a lot of work grabbing popcorn, then put it in my mouth and i kept going back and forth with feeding myself popcorn. [sigh] it was a lot of work mommee
M: BAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

~~~~

@12:00PM
F: i'm the luckiest kid in the whole wide world and today is the bestest day of my entire life
M: glad you think so coootie pie. (yah...i have to ask) but i'm curious...what made you feel that way?
F: i have the bestest mommee ever and i wouldn't want any other mommee.
M: really? not even if you can trade me for like say...20 thousand chicken nuggets?
F: ooooohhhh...how many nuggets can i get for daddee? more cause he's bigger than you right?


:o) BAHHAHAHA...i had to ask...

~~~~

M: i love thunderstorms
F: me too. you know what i really love? hurricanes
M: but people could get hurt in hurricanes.
F: no i'm talking about category 1

~~~~
F: mommee. i know you wanted me to come home early today after the thanksgiving celebrashen today.
M: why yes. i did.
F: i made your wish came true didn't i?
M: why yes. you did. thank you.
F: i make wishes come true for you. how lucky you are mommee that i grant wishes.
M: why yes. i guess i am. can i make another wish?
F: sure.
M: i wish you would try a piece of carrot.
F: now you're just being silly mommee.

~~~~
D: you went airborn
F: I LIKE to go airboring!

~~~~
F: Do i have a nickname?
D: sure you do, it's Franki
F: that's a nickname?
D: sure. or monkey
F: i don't like monkey. that's not a pretty nickname
D: but you are a monkey
F: stop it daddee. i like franki. i'll stick with franki.

~~~~
F: why do we need to learn math?
D: so people can't rip us off.
F: why would people want to rip our armpit off?

:o) BAHAAHAHAHAHAH the things you say vs the things she understand vs the things she says :o). these are really good times!
~~~~
F professed that something was boring. so, here comes daddee...
D: you know...boring is an opinion. you might not want to share that with everyone in your class. you can share it with us, but not with your teacher or your classmates.
F looked at him with loving eyes and a gentle smile: you're boring funny daddee. :o) LMAO. it ACTUALLY MADE SENSE!!!! Dave stifled a laugh, rolled his eyes and walked away. :o) LMAO
~~~~

F: is co Thuy my friend?
M: mmm...sure...why not. but she's kinda old. you'll have friends your age from school.
F: is she old like you?
M: yup.
F: whoa!! are you seventeeeeen???? :o)

~~~~



F walked into our room, laughed out loud then said: when i saw your big giant butt, i thought it was daddee. i was going say "oh hey daddee" but it was just your big giant butt. silly me.


~~~~
Franki waling from having a 2mm L x .5mm thick splinter in her finger w/ .025mm of its L actually in her skin "i have a splinter and i don't want you to take it out, cause i don't want it to hurt. it really hurts right now, i don't want you to touch it cause you could make..." Mommy plucked it out while drama continued "oh look, it's your splinter" F SWITCHED off instantly "oh. you did good mommee"
~~~~
‎1 of the house motto: priviledges are earned, not an entitlement. F unsolicitously brought my shoes over to me "here mommy. now i earned my pribeeledge to watch MY movie." M: really? F: yeah. your show's boring. you should earn your pribeeledge to watch that boring stuff. --- talk about circumventing...sheeesh :o)

~~~~
D: why r u eyeballing this? it's too hot for you. F: i can't stop my face from eyeballing it. it keeps eyeballing your spicy chips. stop it face. stupid face. stop eyeballing daddee's spicy chips. i don't want my tongue to catch fire. --- the whole time she had her hands over her face, trying to turn it away. it's like a G rated scene from fight club :o) Dave, Vince and I laughed so hard we hurt ourselves.
~~~~
F: listen mommee. i'm going to tell you something very smart and important. if you eat your healthy food. then you can eat your junky dessert and the healthy food will clog it up so that your body doesn't see the unhealthy dessert. so can you make my healthy dinner right now please?
~~~~
Veggie Tales...but in Franki's interpretation and usage...

7:34AM, Franki: Hey mommee. I'm special 'cause God made me special.
Mommee looking at her suspiciously: uh huh................where are you going with this?
Franki: since i'm special, can i have cookies for breakfast?

Does one's self esteem rises and falls with having kids?

Franki went over to hug dave, and told him to sit down so she can hug him on the ground. Dave complied...
F: I love you daddee.........hey! i can see your head through your hair. how come i can see your head? I can't see my head. i only see hair.
Dave groaned, and replied: it's because i'm getting old. some people lose their hair when they get old
Franki went over to me, asked me to sit down, then looked at my head and announced: i can't see mommee's head. i only see her hair. you must be much older than mommee and me. soon you'll die and becomes dust.

LMAO!!!!

F sadly: Mommee, Lucius doesn't want to be my husband any more, he wants to be with Madison. i'm broken hearted.
M: aw. it'll be ok. i'm sure there are cooler dudes you can pick from
F: Well, there's Canyon, but he doesn't want to be my husband either.
M: well, why don't you wait until you're 35, then you might have better luck with husbands.
F: no. i'll be too old and it would take forever to be 35.
M: what's your hurry?
F: i need to have kids. i need to have a husband so he can take care of our kids
M: you mean like daddee?
F: yeah
M: well...you know, i was 30 when i met daddee, so maybe you can just be friends with Lucius and Canyon and whoever else now, and then if things work out, you can have a husband (if you want one) when you're 30'ish
F exasperated, sighed, and then exhaled loudly: fine.

~~~~

F: mommy, why's Vincent being a brat?

M: hmmm...acute observation there little lady. i don't know. say, that brings up a question...why DO you act bratty sometimes?

F thought for a moment then "it's hard to explain mommy"

~~~~


F: hey mom, my brother says "oreos"

M: really? i didn't hear him say anything...

F: well, he says "sdkhadoghh" and it means, oreos.


~~~~


:o) LOL :o) She's on a roll today...so Franki's watching a movie, and there's a scene with a hippy in it. none of us said anything, then franki of course said "take a bath hippy" :o)


~~~~


ugh! i took franki to china grocery store to get a few items that only they carry, and when she out of the car, she sniffed, then said loudly

"oh no! mommee, this is the stinky grocery store. we can't buy anything here. everything's bad"...


~~~~

Vince's 3 today. he opened one present, played with it, ignored the rest. Franki comtemplated, then said

"if those presents are still there on my birthday. i'm going to open them."

D: what are you doing?
F: i'm trying to look up your nose.
D: why?
F: because i'm trying to see your brain.
D: oh? do you see it?
F: no i can't. i need a flash light.
D: why?
F: i can't see anything because there's too much fur.

~~~~



F: i'm full mommee
M: really? ok.
F: what are you eating?
M: oh, i'm about to have some cookies with vince
F: ooooh ooooh i want some
M: but you just said you're full that's why you left some of your HP behind
F: i have an idea. how about i share my cookies with you so that i can eat some of it?
M: i can't see how you can share them with me when you're not getting any. afterall, i thought you were full?
F: you know, i'm not full yet. let me finish my HP
M: oh, you're not full yet? i guess i musta made a mistake
F: it's ok mommee. i know you have issues

~~~~

D: what are you doing?
F: i'm trying to look up your nose.
D: why?
F: because i'm trying to see your brain.
D: oh? do you see it?
F: no i can't. i need a flash light.
D: why?
F: i can't see anything because there's too much fur.

Franki called Dave at work, on her own reading from the numbers i had written on our message board. i can't hear anything dave said, but the following is what she said:

Franki: Hi daddee, can i have chicken and fries?
pause...
Franki: ok daddee. i love you too but can i have some chicken and fries?
pause...
Franki: yes! bye bye daddee.
ran to me with a huge smile then: YES! daddee says yes!

Dave called me back shortly after and said: what did she asked me? i couldn't make out what she said on the message...

:o) LOL sneaky little...

franki's version of her birth: I was a star made by God and i was falling down to the ground. but daddee didn't catch me so i hit my head on the grass.

~~~~

Franki: the fire ants need to go to the beach and build their house. there's lotsa sand there. go fire ants. go on vacation and build your house on the beach so you can eat crabs. leave our house alone. :o) LOL :o)

~~~~

Franki: would you please get my shoes? i asked very nicely (seems to be a standard follow-up to all her requests now a days)
Mommee: that is true, but asking nicely when you can do things for yourself doesn't work. it's only for when you can'd do things for yourself that counts.
Franki: like when my legs are broken?
Mommee: yeah, or when you're really sick...but i can see that your legs are well so the only thing that would stop you from getting your shoes is you
Franki: i need shoes. i can't run in these (pointing to her backyard slippers). shoes are made for me to run and they never ever fall off and i can run really fast
Mommee: so are you gonna get your shoes or are ya gonna sit here and talk about your shoes?
Franki sighed with acceptance: alright alright, i'll go get my shoes. ugh.

~~~~

Franki: would you PPPPlease let me have chocolate cake for lunch? i asked very nicely. (note: this was asked @730am)
Mommee: i noticed and am very happy that you are such a polite young lady...but chocolate cake is not a breakfast item.
Franki (arms folded, lower lip protruded, brows furrowed): awwww, but i asked so politely. fine. i'm mad at you. you should go to your room because you ignored me.
Mommee: uh...no...that's not how it works.
Franki: why not? you send me to my room when i ignore you..?
Mommee: that is true. but...i didnt' ignore you. for the record, i said no to chocolate cake for breakfast and you got upset because you didn't like my answer.
Franki: ok then. for the record. i want chocolate cake for lunch and dinner not breakfast. can we have toast with nutella for breakfast?

~~~~~~

Franki: daddee, where did you go when you went over the hill?
Daddee: who told you i was over the hill, mommee? what else has she been passing along to you?
Franki: attitude and issues
:o) LMAO...the blame game has begun!

~~~~~~~~

Daddee: Are you making mischief over there little girl?
Franki: yes. i am miss-chief, you're mr-chief and mommee is mrs-chief

~~~~~~~~

Dave was about to peel a banana for Vince when Franki says
"i'll do it for you daddee. you're too old to peel the banana. let me peel it for vincent" :o)

~~~~~~~~

F: i love daddee's harwt. it's strong.
M: oh? did you hear it?
F: uh huh. it goes boing boing boing boing.... :o) LOL

...Cleaning up: take everything on the floor and place them on the table/sofa/chair

...dusting: two swipes with the swiffer, then wants a new pad because it's "dirty now"

...making her sandwich: take the cheese to eat it while saying, "ok, i will snack on the cheese while you make the sandwich, ok?"

...being quiet: speaking at a loud whisper

...eating everything i give her: only if they're chocolates

She goes through her day eating hotpockets, crackers, pizza sandwiches, gold fish, and some times toast when she's really desperate. but now, we implemented the beginning of the end of making her own selection and as a result, an fussy and dramatically sad child appeared. this is a moment in her childhood that i'm sure she'll remember as torture, now, but hopefully we can all laugh about it when the years go by.

the torture of childhood, and frustration of parenthood, at the moment:

Franki and vince have gatroenteritis, and so vomitting and diarrhea is our way of life for the past 3 days. Vince was 3 days behind franki with his symptoms, so when he heaved yesterday...

Franki announced loudly: Mommee, Daddee, vincent barfed. why is he barfing?
Daddee: 'cause he's sick like you
Franki: we're kids. we barf a lot. when we're older, we won't barf any more.
Daddee: i don't know about that. you guys barfed because you're sick, not because you're kids.
Franki sighed: what's up with all the barfing daddee?

M: no franki, you cannot have it. you need to stop asking.
F: i have an idea. how about you and daddee shrwink down to be babies and i'll be the big girwol. then i can send you to your room and then i can get it all by myself?
A silly question gets a simple answer
Dave: Little girl, why are you naked?
Franki: because i took my clothes off. :o)

LOL doih :o) dave felt pretty smart after he received that answer :o) LOL

She has great work ethics
Dave called home from work and Franki answered the phone.
D: hi monkey. wachadoin'?
F: i'm working on my stuff
D: oh yeah? wacha workin' on?
F: Mommee's putting vincent to bed. bye daddee.
Dave called back: Hi monkey. can i talk to mommee?
F: daddee. you have to stop calling me. go back to work. :o)

Daddee: you're the bestest daughter!
Franki in "isn't it obvious" tone: i know daddee


Franki: hey mom, could i bring this into the bath tub?
Mommee: lemme see...hmmm...i guess so...but it's not a bath toy, on second thought, maybe you shouldn't.
Franki: how about on another thought, you let me bring it into the bath tub?


Franki: vince, no don't do that. you're breaking the rules
Vince grunted at her
Franki: no vince. if you do that again, i'm going to send you to your room
Vince grunted at her harder
Franki grunted back in frustration then stormed away into her room, then from her room she says "fine. i'll go into my room and be by myself since you won't listen to me"


Mommee: Franki...where's your drawing stuff? the pencil box looks empty.
Franki: my drawing stuff is downstairs
Mommee: why are they downstairs? they should be in your pencil box. I know YOU know that...
Franki: i put them in my shapes box
Mommee: ok...so where's the shapes box
Franki in an exasperated tone: i said they're downstairs

My thoughts...she's not even four and she's this this this...this...can't even find a word... :o) what's worse, she's been doing this since she was 3'ish...scary...

Nov 23, 2009: I just witnessed Franki singing lullabies to her brother in Pantera style, with the head banging and all, yet, she has never seen a rock video... :o) LOL

Franki and vince were taking a bath. Dave was at work late (7:00pm and still there). our plan B for the night was a movie and pizza.

Franki: mom? the water is getting cold. i need you to add more hot water so i can be warm.
Mommee: it is huh? and that's a great solution you thought of...but i think we should take this opportunity and finish with our bath so we can get ready to watch the movie and have pizza with daddee when he gets home...
Franki: but i'm not ready to come out. i'll turn on the water by my self.
Mommee: you know the rules about hot water...besides, don't you want to watch our new movie?
Franki silent for a minute or so: i have a great idea. how about we bring the tv in here so i can watch and take a bath? i think that's a great idea mom.

NOTE: she stopped calling me Mommee for months now...but being true to a mother's mentality, my ears still hear Mommee... :o)

Franki to Vince: ok vincent, when you're older, i'll show you how to play with dominoes. see? one dot plus one dot equals more dots. seeeee...?????


Kim groaned: Oih my back hurts.
Franki: My back doesn't hurt. it says i'm happy laying down here, seeeee...???


Franki: Hey mommee, i have an great idea. how about we put the TV outside so we can watch outside and play bouncy????


Franki: can i go outside today?
Mommee: nah, not today. it's been raining and so there will be lots of mosquitoes outside.
Franki: mosquitoes like me.
Mommee: i think they like to BITE you, that doesn't necessarily mean they LIKE you.
Franki: mosquitoes like to hug me.
Mommee: uh...they bite, they don't hug. they bite you.
Franki: you can call it bite. i will call it hug. :o) --- LOL this girl is UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

Franki's first batch of cookies which she did ALL the measuring, egg breaking and mixing. i only helped with the oven part, and of course, the cleaning up after but...the egg shell in the cookie may show that she should find better help :o)

Franki: Mom, how do we get this house?
Mommee: you mean how did we get this house?
Franki: yeah, did some one gave it to us?
Mommee: well...daddee and i bought it and i guess you can see it as we gave it to you and Vince to use along with us
Franki: Hey mom, can we get a bigguh house?
Mommee: bigger house? why? it's too big for me to clean as it is...
Franki: i know, we can break this house then go get a new and bigguh one. sounds like a plan?

LOL FUNNY!!! but...after my laughter ended, :o I am now filled with concerns about this kid and her methods... :o

Daily observation: kiddos wake up, all mellow and chill. then about 30 minutes before bedtime (nap time included), they get all jazzed up...they'd jumped off things, run, and all that physical stuff that they could have done shortly after waking up.

Mommee: ok...lets settle down 'cause it's almost naptime
Franki: i don't want to sleep. i'm not sleepy. i want quiet time. [a short pause] pleeeeeeeeease.
Mommee: hmmm...ok...but no getting out of bed, and no talking.
Franki: ok I will be quiet. i want to have my books and my toys in the bed so i don't have to get out of bed to get them.
Mommee: uh...noooo...that's the idea, you're not supposed to get out of bed.
Franki exasperatedly sighed: ok ok i'll stay in bed. can i have only books?
Mommee: how about ONE book?
Franki in a resigned tone: ok, one book.

I kissed her "goodnight" and all that mushy mommee stuff that i LOVE to dole out :o). Then 30 minutes later, she's out cold. what gives???? :o) what's with all the negotiations and fights against sleeping? is it to exhaust their parents into bed? it's not like we need additional reasons to feel like limp noodles by the time we get to our bed... :o)

Franki: Hey mommee, would you please hide vincent so he doesn't take my stuff?
Mommee: hmmm...wouldn't it be easier to hide your stuff?
Franki: No, i want you to hide vincent in some one else's house.

...here comes Hot Choco Mustache :o)