Before kids

1. effort put into work usually = predictable results
2. cleaning house = clean house (for weeks if not a month+)
3. do laundry = laundry gets folded and put away immediately
4. cooking food = eaten food
5. plans to go out = going out promptly and nicely dressed
6. going to a restaurant = food ordered, food eaten at a leisure pace, bill paid at the end of meal
7. traveling = book flight, hotel, car, and plan activities
8. morning coffee = coffee brewed, pour into cup, leisurely sipping hot/warm coffee while talking with spouse, or reading the news/comic :o)
9. dirty floor = general dust and hair (what can i say, i shed like tree during the fall)
10. dirty wall = slightly dusty up in the high area
11. bed time = whenever and still feel rested
12. sleepless nights = waking up to pee
13. socializing = meeting up with friends and have conversations and dirty jokes or just jokes over good food and some times wine
14. decorating the house = nice comfy furniture, finely replicated arts, or "econimcal" pieces at crate and barrel
15. buying a car = whatever car you want and can afford to buy, budget's the only limiting factor
16. Poop = uh, not a topic of conversation, not even in the dirty jokes.
    

With kids

1. effort put into kids usually = variable results, mostly the kinds you don’t expect
2. cleaning house = dirty in 5 or if extraordinarily lucky, 10 minutes before it gets dirty again
3. do laundry = put in washer, and maybe dryer in the same day. definitely no folding and put away until a week or maybe longer
4. cooking food = maybe food will get touched by hands, likely won't get eaten
5. plans to go out = coordinate a babysitter (quite a difficult task), hope kiddos don’t get sick on the day of, hope to have clothes with no food stains or residual barf stains available (or make sure to do laundry and get them out of the dryer promptly, and hang up immediately - righttttt...)
6. going to a restaurant = behavioral control and expectations set with kiddos, food ordered, food may or may not get eaten (forget leisure pace), always prepared to have food to go at a moment’s notice, bill paid at the beginning of meal in case if we have to make a quick exit
7. traveling = book flight, kid centric hotel, get a van, and plan kiddy activities
8. morning coffee = coffee brewed, pour into cup, slurp it right away or risk having it sit on the counter until the day’s over
9. dirty floor = food crumbs in the dinning area and a trail out to other areas in the form of foot prints, spilled/splattered liquid which sometimes just dry with a visible spot, other times, sticky, and other times, fuzzy if not noticed by mommee early enough
10. dirty wall = food stains from hands, mouth, mobile toys collision, hand held toys collision, body part collision that may sometimes leave a stain, other times, dents, hand/foot prints
11. bed time = 2 hours after kiddos go to bed
12. sleepless nights = waking up and staying up for an hour to two, some times three cause kiddo(s) got recharged after 4 hours of sleep
13. socializing = meeting up with friends who have kids the same age, talk about kids and sharing our joyous moments, trials and tribulations, all over gold fish, some other crackers, or just pizza. No booze.
14. decorating the house = stain resistant economical furniture from target/walmart that can take a beating and if breaks, no heartaches from parents and easy on the wallet to replace, walls covered with kiddy photos only parents think cute, or memorable (kids will hate them when they’re older and realize what they’re looking at)
15. buying a car = Van or SUV, all with extremely high safety ratings and LARGE cargo space, oh and of course, MUST have DVD player.
16. Kiddo Poop = Happy, relieved, relaxed parents

Franki and vince have gatroenteritis, and so vomitting and diarrhea is our way of life for the past 3 days. Vince was 3 days behind franki with his symptoms, so when he heaved yesterday...

Franki announced loudly: Mommee, Daddee, vincent barfed. why is he barfing?
Daddee: 'cause he's sick like you
Franki: we're kids. we barf a lot. when we're older, we won't barf any more.
Daddee: i don't know about that. you guys barfed because you're sick, not because you're kids.
Franki sighed: what's up with all the barfing daddee?

M: no franki, you cannot have it. you need to stop asking.
F: i have an idea. how about you and daddee shrwink down to be babies and i'll be the big girwol. then i can send you to your room and then i can get it all by myself?
A silly question gets a simple answer
Dave: Little girl, why are you naked?
Franki: because i took my clothes off. :o)

LOL doih :o) dave felt pretty smart after he received that answer :o) LOL

She has great work ethics
Dave called home from work and Franki answered the phone.
D: hi monkey. wachadoin'?
F: i'm working on my stuff
D: oh yeah? wacha workin' on?
F: Mommee's putting vincent to bed. bye daddee.
Dave called back: Hi monkey. can i talk to mommee?
F: daddee. you have to stop calling me. go back to work. :o)

Daddee: you're the bestest daughter!
Franki in "isn't it obvious" tone: i know daddee


Franki: hey mom, could i bring this into the bath tub?
Mommee: lemme see...hmmm...i guess so...but it's not a bath toy, on second thought, maybe you shouldn't.
Franki: how about on another thought, you let me bring it into the bath tub?


Franki: vince, no don't do that. you're breaking the rules
Vince grunted at her
Franki: no vince. if you do that again, i'm going to send you to your room
Vince grunted at her harder
Franki grunted back in frustration then stormed away into her room, then from her room she says "fine. i'll go into my room and be by myself since you won't listen to me"


Mommee: Franki...where's your drawing stuff? the pencil box looks empty.
Franki: my drawing stuff is downstairs
Mommee: why are they downstairs? they should be in your pencil box. I know YOU know that...
Franki: i put them in my shapes box
Mommee: ok...so where's the shapes box
Franki in an exasperated tone: i said they're downstairs

My thoughts...she's not even four and she's this this this...this...can't even find a word... :o) what's worse, she's been doing this since she was 3'ish...scary...

Nov 23, 2009: I just witnessed Franki singing lullabies to her brother in Pantera style, with the head banging and all, yet, she has never seen a rock video... :o) LOL

Franki and vince were taking a bath. Dave was at work late (7:00pm and still there). our plan B for the night was a movie and pizza.

Franki: mom? the water is getting cold. i need you to add more hot water so i can be warm.
Mommee: it is huh? and that's a great solution you thought of...but i think we should take this opportunity and finish with our bath so we can get ready to watch the movie and have pizza with daddee when he gets home...
Franki: but i'm not ready to come out. i'll turn on the water by my self.
Mommee: you know the rules about hot water...besides, don't you want to watch our new movie?
Franki silent for a minute or so: i have a great idea. how about we bring the tv in here so i can watch and take a bath? i think that's a great idea mom.

NOTE: she stopped calling me Mommee for months now...but being true to a mother's mentality, my ears still hear Mommee... :o)

Franki to Vince: ok vincent, when you're older, i'll show you how to play with dominoes. see? one dot plus one dot equals more dots. seeeee...?????


Kim groaned: Oih my back hurts.
Franki: My back doesn't hurt. it says i'm happy laying down here, seeeee...???


Franki: Hey mommee, i have an great idea. how about we put the TV outside so we can watch outside and play bouncy????


Franki: can i go outside today?
Mommee: nah, not today. it's been raining and so there will be lots of mosquitoes outside.
Franki: mosquitoes like me.
Mommee: i think they like to BITE you, that doesn't necessarily mean they LIKE you.
Franki: mosquitoes like to hug me.
Mommee: uh...they bite, they don't hug. they bite you.
Franki: you can call it bite. i will call it hug. :o) --- LOL this girl is UNBELIEVABLE!!!!

Franki's first batch of cookies which she did ALL the measuring, egg breaking and mixing. i only helped with the oven part, and of course, the cleaning up after but...the egg shell in the cookie may show that she should find better help :o)

Franki: Mom, how do we get this house?
Mommee: you mean how did we get this house?
Franki: yeah, did some one gave it to us?
Mommee: well...daddee and i bought it and i guess you can see it as we gave it to you and Vince to use along with us
Franki: Hey mom, can we get a bigguh house?
Mommee: bigger house? why? it's too big for me to clean as it is...
Franki: i know, we can break this house then go get a new and bigguh one. sounds like a plan?

LOL FUNNY!!! but...after my laughter ended, :o I am now filled with concerns about this kid and her methods... :o

Daily observation: kiddos wake up, all mellow and chill. then about 30 minutes before bedtime (nap time included), they get all jazzed up...they'd jumped off things, run, and all that physical stuff that they could have done shortly after waking up.

Mommee: ok...lets settle down 'cause it's almost naptime
Franki: i don't want to sleep. i'm not sleepy. i want quiet time. [a short pause] pleeeeeeeeease.
Mommee: hmmm...ok...but no getting out of bed, and no talking.
Franki: ok I will be quiet. i want to have my books and my toys in the bed so i don't have to get out of bed to get them.
Mommee: uh...noooo...that's the idea, you're not supposed to get out of bed.
Franki exasperatedly sighed: ok ok i'll stay in bed. can i have only books?
Mommee: how about ONE book?
Franki in a resigned tone: ok, one book.

I kissed her "goodnight" and all that mushy mommee stuff that i LOVE to dole out :o). Then 30 minutes later, she's out cold. what gives???? :o) what's with all the negotiations and fights against sleeping? is it to exhaust their parents into bed? it's not like we need additional reasons to feel like limp noodles by the time we get to our bed... :o)

Franki: Hey mommee, would you please hide vincent so he doesn't take my stuff?
Mommee: hmmm...wouldn't it be easier to hide your stuff?
Franki: No, i want you to hide vincent in some one else's house.

...here comes Hot Choco Mustache :o)

She really likes being on "vacation", so much so that she serenaded the washer and dryer to show her adoration...

:o) LOL as if she worked really hard every day at her "job" :o).

Franki & Dave were playing with blocks on the floor. Dave was piling the blocks upwards when Franki told him that the pieces he was using "doesn't go there"

Daddee turned to mommee: your daughter has your control freak genes. i blame you.
Franki, in a very consoling tone: yes i know daddee
Daddee: you know? what do you know monkey?
franki in a resigned tone: i know everything.

LOL :o) the burden of "know everything" :o) LOL

Franki: Can i go to the big poowl?
Mommee: I can't today honey.
Franki: oh. .................. ok, how about you stay home and enjoy vincent. Daddee can go to the poowl with me. how's that? sounds like a plan?

...when they enjoy each other's company...she plays computer games while he watches and laughs...

Dave has a book on WPF and was looking it over...



Franki: Daddee. i want to read that book. pwease.

Daddee: why would you want to read this book? it's boring. you'll fall asleep.

Franki: i want to read it daddee.

Daddee: ok, here yah go...you can read it...

Franki: thanks. now lemme read it.

Daddee: do you want me to read to you?

Franki: no no. i will read it all by myself.

silence...minutes later...

Franki: daddee. i'm reading it and i'm not falling asleep...see... (then a big teethy grin) :o) LOL

Moment #1
Franki: Mommee, would you get me bebe (her bear)?
Mommee: why can't you get it? if you want him, you should go and get him.
Franki: i can't.
Mommee: why not?
Franki: my legs are brwoken.


Moment #2
Vince and Franki each played with a jump rope on the floor. Franki decided she wanted Vince's as well. House rule: no taking toys from others. if toy is left on the floor and unattended, then it's fair game. but if to protect some one from injury, the toy may be taken from the potential victim...

Franki walked over to vince while vince was dangling his jump rope on his arm and said: no vince, don't do that. it will cut off your circulation (pronounced perfectly).
...pause...
Franki: here, i will protect you.
then she proceeded to take the jump rope off vince's arm and walked away with it.

when i met dave, one thing was real obvious to me...he's got a mind for trivia. he'll remember dialogues from movies, musician with the specific songs (lots and lots), etc.

now, @ 3.5 years old, franki is his protege...dave was reciting some lines from Bolt:

Daddee: wait for it....
Franki: Aliens
Franki: Hoh snap. audiences love aliens
daddee: you can't touch us

This is one of many instances that she'd finish his sentences...or any saying...

Daddee: vincent, will you please move your big giant
Franki: melon

Daddee: Mommee, don't
Franki: hurt yurseff

and on and on... :o) sooo entertaining...

Being the party animals that we are, we had the huge all out partying and staying up late, past 10pm...yeah!!!

Below illustrates the evidence of a late night party :o) LOL...

Another family photo :o) WOOOHOOO

Mommee was playing with the kids at home (it's a tough job but hey...someone's gotta do it :o)). This time, it's pushing them on a tonka truck. after some laps around the house, mommee exclaimed:

Mommee breathing heavily (for all the wrong reasons): oih! i'm outa shape...need...to...take...a...breather...time...outttt...
Franki: are yoo ok mommee?
Mommee: yup. just...need...some...time...to...recharge...mommee's way way outa shape...sad...very sad indeed...
Franki ran off, then came back with some plastic triangles, circles, squares, and a star. handed them to me and said: hew yoo go mommee. yoo have more shapes now. yoo can push me again.

Franki has mastered the alphabets at least 6 months ago, but she recently became zealous at spelling out everything she sees...while in the car, she saw the starbucks sign, so...

Franki: S T A R B U C K S spells Iced Venti Decaf Mocha With Whip Please

At home, she was looking at the remote control and it's logo...

Franki: D I R E C T T V spells i can watch pacman in pacvillage (xbox pacworld game which she likes to watch daddee plays).

We met up with some friends and their kids at Bayou Wildlife last year. Franki enjoyed the experience and wanted to repeat it. Today, she noticed the bayout wildlife pamphlet on my desk and asked me if she could have it...

Mommee: sure...
Mommee after a moment of pause, and curiosity kicked in: why?
Franki: i want to read it.
Mommee: really? cool...
Franki: mommee. i will read to you.
Mommee amazed, agreed immediately: OK. that'll be really cool...
Franki finger pointing and spelling out the words: B A Y O U W I L D L I F E spells We should go and feed the animals so they don't get hungry. THE END.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20090518&name=Baby_Blues

Deep thinking...is it a sign of intellect, or a result of too much free time?

neuroses...can it be hereditary through conditioning? :o

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kimndavenkids/

This is my confession. By doing so, I’m hoping to have a complete and documented view of the changes that occurred within the past 10 years, roughly speaking, and how I handled the situation. Sometimes this resulted in greatness, more often than not, I find myself wishing I could have done it differently, or more intelligently, or less seriously, etc.; you know…hindsight…yah dah yah dah…

Let’s hope at the end of this that I will have some insights about love, dating, marriage, married with children, etc. to pass along to my kids……………………………….too much to ask for……………? Probably…but hey, by the time they’re able to comprehend anything on this page, they’ll likely think I’m crazy any ways, so this will give them confidence that they’re not too far off the mark :o) So here goes…

Dating (2.5yrs): what I see in Dave during our dating phase
He’s smart, easy going, clever, funny, supportive (not blindly supportive) – I mean, when he disagrees with me on something, he’d tell me…but he also include “but if you’re determined to do xyz then I’ll support your decision”. That’s perfect for me cause I’m not a fan of blind faith, loyalty, love, etc.
Married (3yrs): What I see in Dave during our marriage
He’s smart, easy going, clever, funny, supportive (not blindly supportive) – I mean, when he disagrees with me on something, he’d tell me…but he also include “but if you’re determined to do xyz then I’ll support your decision”. That’s perfect for me cause I’m not a fan of blind faith, loyalty, love, etc.
Married with Children (3.5yrs): What I see in Dave when we had kids
*He’s smart, why can’t he figure out that THAT’s not how one xyz with a baby
*He’s too easy going that nothing seemed out of order even though the house hasn’t been cleaned, laundry hasn’t been washed, bottles hasn’t been cleaned, kid’s crying, oh THE CHAOS!!!, but he sits and watched TV.
*Now’s not the time to be clever, quit goofing around and leave me be so I can figure out why this kid is crying so long and so loud and AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.
*It’s not funny. It’s not funny. Yes, I lost my sense of humor in the mist of sleeplessness, anxiety from having a baby (what if I missed something that I should have done, or done something I’m not supposed to and she gets hurt or worse….OH THE ANXIETY!!!
*How can he be so supportive? What if I’m doing something wrong and end up hurting our kid. Maybe he should be less supportive and more protective of his kid from me and my uncertainties. :o

OK, from the above, in retrospect, I clearly see that HE didn’t change throughout the pages of our lives. I, yep, I changed, or my perception of things changed. How could that be? Well, it seems that my perception of him went from adoration and admiration to simply and plainly critical.

How did this happened?, beats me. Apparently having a kid changed my perception. Why? I don’t know. Maybe someone or someONES might have insights into it and tell me one day, or heck, maybe I’ll find my answer during one of my “deep thinking” moments. I am of the opinion that having kids is the biggest challenge a couple can go through together.

Specifically, I’m wondering if it isn’t the biggest challenge A woman (or maybe just me) can go through without ripping her husband into shreds, and if the man can withstand some claw marks and still come out ok, well, as ok as could be given the circumstance, then things would eventually be hunky dory again, and even stronger as a couple…so we all hope right…?

The good news is, my “married with children” perception was short lived…well…it depends on who you ask. If you ask me, I recollect that my skewed perception occurred the first 8 months of having Franki, then 6 months after that from having Vince…maybe…?

Any ways…one thing I do know for sure is that the change in my perception of my wonderful husband and exceptional father to our kids was not him, but me. Yeah…I guess I just don’t deal well with having REAL responsibilities. I went through life with the attitude that if I lose a job, I’ll find another; if things didn’t work out with a boyfriend, I’d find another, etc., but a kid? If things didn’t work out with taking care of a kid…[shudder]…I still get beads of sweat at the thought…

Moving on…my marriage survived the crazy days of post partum perception (PPP), but that’s really a testament to Dave’s resilience and love. I think that I would single handedly destroy all that we have if it wasn’t for him and his determination at not accepting the crazy chick he saw in me as a norm. He rode out the storm called Post Partum KIM which brought with her the wrath of post partum perception. Fortunately, the storm passed, like all things in life… :o) now we have…calm and peace…ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…zen……..

no longer adding blogs to old site, all old blogs will stay where they are, no blog migration...no photo migration either...

Background: we're trying to help franki decide to use the big people potty to take care of her "business." One of the reasons we give her as incentive to do so is being able to go to school.

A friend of Dave's sent him an invite to his MBA graduation.

Franki: daddee. whaaaat is thaaaat?
Daddee: that's a graduation invitation from my friend Eddie.
Franki: oh. gradation inveetation
Daddee: gradUation...yeah...you get that when you finish going to school
Franki thoughtful: oh, so mr. eddie can pee pee and poopy on the toilet.

...can't imagine how slow she'd really think i am when she's a teenager :o

so we're sitting around watching a show, and there's a scene where a gadget they used looked like a popped alumium popcorn package...you know...all bloated up...?

Mommee: huh...that's totally cheesy...it doesn't look like...blah blah...
Franki: mommee. it's po - ah- co - o - orn. it's not cheesy. it's po - ah- co - o - orn.

Our DVD player won't open per command, so i thought aloud...

Mommee: huh...i guess it's broken
Franki: Oh No! Mommee, could yoo gimme some tools so i can fix it?
Mommee pleasantly surprised: now that's a cool idea. why don't you grab your tools and we'll see if we can fix it together?
Franki: noooo mommee. my tools are toys, i need you to get your tools so i can fix the dvd playuh.

I gave Franki some mini M&Ms, then asked her to share some with Vince (yes, i'm instigating a sharing lesson).

Mommee: Franki, will you please share some M&Ms with Vince?
Franki: Sure
Mommee waited for a bit, seeing no signs of sharing: Franki honey, don't forget to share with Vince, ok?
Franki: Ok Mommee
Vince decided to take it upon himself to go and get some
Franki: No no Vince, no M&Ms for you, too much M&Ms will make you sick.

We ran into a friend of mine and her two sons at the mall's play zone. The boys (Brandon & Tyler) were dressed in matching outfits (no, not twins). Franki ran over to me and said: Mommeee, i See Two Brandons.

Here's the version where Kuato is free...sort of... :o)

So as I sit in the peace and quiet of my home, doing some leisure reading online and SOME catching up with friends and long distance family members on FB, it dawned on me that only 40 months ago I had thought this solitary moment would never come again (unless it's stolen in the middle of the night at the expense of sleep, or during the day at the expense of neglecting my first born or domestic responsibilities :o) - harsh...yah...I'm a mom, what didja expect...we're pretty harsh on ourselves)

Moments like this that my thoughts wander to what life was like before kids and what life is now with kids. Let’s see…before my first kid, solitary and peaceful moments like these were many and occur at my own choosing, again, I will emphasize: unlike now. However, they were not appreciated and enjoyed half as much as now. Seriously, before kids, my peaceful moments were squandered away on less than productive activities like online games (that don't pay out), or chatting the day away with friends that ultimately led to hand cramps and achy back. Granted, keeping in touch with my friends then helps with making up with the minimal contacts we have now after kids :o(, but I guess life is about changes and stages. Oh, and the million and one projects I started and didn’t finish (landscaping, carpentry, sewing, knitting, and on and on…).

Since kids, I find myself appreciating the little things (literally), such as the kids (LOVE'EM), the stolen moments with my husband, the almost extinct solitary moments, and of course, how life seems so cool through a child's eyes. Until I became a parent, other people's anecdotes of their kids seem more like a question of sanity/insanity to me (i.e. huh, interesting, but don't see the humor; or ok...and you find that funny/endearing/adorable, how/why?, etc.).

Now, I find myself sincerely saying "that's awesome!" or "that's funny/hilarious/smart, etc." at these things. It’s as though I took the red pill and walked through the mirror in the matrix, except the world I see isn't at all gloomy or down right tragic like the movie. :o) I seriously wonder why I didn't take this red pill sooner :o) Each day I also find myself thanking my lucky star for the trouble my kids give me.

I mean, yeah, it's frustrating, annoying, simply hairy pulling aggravation. But at the end of the day, I can't help but feel blessed to know that my kids are healthy and got enough wits to drive me insane and of course, I’m grateful that Dave and I have our health to go through and endure all the torture :o), and still ask for more the next day :o)