Parent stuff...
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Before kids
- effort put into work usually = predictable results
- cleaning house = clean house (for weeks if not a month+)
- do laundry = laundry gets folded and put away immediately
- cooking food = eaten food
- plans to go out = going out promptly and nicely dressed
- going to a restaurant = food ordered, food eaten at a leisure pace, bill paid at the end of meal
- traveling = book flight, hotel, car, and plan activities
- morning coffee = coffee brewed, pour into cup, leisurely sipping hot/warm coffee while talking with spouse, or reading the news/comic :o)
- dirty floor = general dust and hair (what can i say, i shed like tree during the fall)
- dirty wall = slightly dusty up in the high area
- bed time = whenever and still feel rested
- sleepless nights = waking up to pee
- socializing = meeting up with friends and have conversations and dirty jokes or just jokes over good food and some times wine
- decorating the house = nice comfy furniture, finely replicated arts, or "econimcal" pieces at crate and barrel
- buying a car = whatever car you want and can afford to buy, budget's the only limiting factor
- Poop = uh, not a topic of conversation, not even in the dirty jokes.
With kids
- effort put into kids usually = variable results, mostly the kinds you don’t expect
- cleaning house = dirty in 5 or if extraordinarily lucky, 10 minutes before it gets dirty again
- do laundry = put in washer, and maybe dryer in the same day. definitely no folding and put away until a week or maybe longer
- cooking food = maybe food will get touched by hands, likely won't get eaten
- plans to go out = coordinate a babysitter (quite a difficult task), hope kiddos don’t get sick on the day of, hope to have clothes with no food stains or residual barf stains available (or make sure to do laundry and get them out of the dryer promptly, and hang up immediately - righttttt...)
- going to a restaurant = behavioral control and expectations set with kiddos, food ordered, food may or may not get eaten (forget leisure pace), always prepared to have food to go at a moment’s notice, bill paid at the beginning of meal in case if we have to make a quick exit
- traveling = book flight, kid centric hotel, get a van, and plan kiddy activities
- morning coffee = coffee brewed, pour into cup, slurp it right away or risk having it sit on the counter until the day’s over
- dirty floor = food crumbs in the dinning area and a trail out to other areas in the form of foot prints, spilled/splattered liquid which sometimes just dry with a visible spot, other times, sticky, and other times, fuzzy if not noticed by mommee early enough
- dirty wall = food stains from hands, mouth, mobile toys collision, hand held toys collision, body part collision that may sometimes leave a stain, other times, dents, hand/foot prints
- bed time = 2 hours after kiddos go to bed
- sleepless nights = waking up and staying up for an hour to two, some times three cause kiddo(s) got recharged after 4 hours of sleep
- socializing = meeting up with friends who have kids the same age, talk about kids and sharing our joyous moments, trials and tribulations, all over gold fish, some other crackers, or just pizza. No booze.
- decorating the house = stain resistant economical furniture from target/walmart that can take a beating and if breaks, no heartaches from parents and easy on the wallet to replace, walls covered with kiddy photos only parents think cute, or memorable (kids will hate them when they’re older and realize what they’re looking at)
- buying a car = Van or SUV, all with extremely high safety ratings and LARGE cargo space, oh and of course, MUST have DVD player.
- Kiddo Poop = Happy, relieved, relaxed parents
